Transformative Listening

Transformative Listening focuses on YOU. What do you feel? What do you think? What do you need? What do you want to achieve by coming to me? In order to do this we follow the three phases I described in the Book of Needs:

• Create connection
• Finding the Core Message
• Creating Change

Are you ready to explore yourself?

Listening means, that you are going to talk about yourself. The fact that you are here, shows that a part of you is ready to share with me your thoughts and feelings including some of the hidden and unpleasant ones. At the same time blockades and other undesirable behaviour are an indication that on some topics speaking and listening did not always go the way you wanted it to. Creating connection means, that we will create a safe place for you (and your partner when you come as a couple) to express everything that wants to be found and heard, including intense feelings and ‘ugly’ thoughts when needed.

Which message wants to be found?

Listening starts with a signal that is asking for attention. Which of the following signals attracts your attention? In other words: what made you come to and stay on this website?

• unpleasant thoughts ('I want to leave'. 'Nothing works'. 'It's not safe'. 'It's boring'. 'They will never change'. 'I want to hurt others'. etc.)
• unpleasant emotions (frustration, sadness, fear, confusion, pain, anger, etc.)
• unpleasant physical sensations (stress, aches in head / stomach / throat / back, etc.)

Take every signal seriously

I've learned to take every signal seriously. Signals are telling you, that there is something in your system that wants to be heard and often also wants to be changed. Very often the signals which seem weird and small, are the ones that lead us to the most important stories and convictions, which are the cause of the thoughts, feelings, blockades and behaviour we aim to change. Transformative Listening tries to find the core message behind all the signals that we observe.

How can you create change?

Finding the Core Message during the Transformative Listening Process is often the first step to change. Sometimes we need more. Depending on your blockades, behaviour, history and needs, we can choose one or more of the following approaches, that combine finding the Core Message with 'reprogramming' the way your past influences you present behaviour and results:

Fulfilling Basic Needs	Role Play	(Family) Constellations
Inner Children	Body signals	Changing Convictions

Or first read more about what to expect during a Transformative Listening Process